It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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