after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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