I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
