I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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