Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So squirting runs in the family.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
