I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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