Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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