one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
