His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im holly from the hills drunk
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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