No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize