It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
