It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im holly from the hills drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
