My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
