so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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