I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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