the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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