Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
