I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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