found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
