We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
