Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
