I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
