whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
