my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
