last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
