I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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