Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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