apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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