No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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