dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
