i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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