I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize