dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
