this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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