i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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