hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
