Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
