I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize