it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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