Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
