I CAN MOONWALK!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
