There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
