this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Barsexuality is the new black.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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