his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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