She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize