Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
