What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
