My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
