my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
