Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
