dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize