If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my liver is dry heaving
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
