Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
