So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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