he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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