I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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