just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When did angry sex become our thing?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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