Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
