You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
