At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
