Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
